Welcome to our 'Joke of the Month' Page

'Rule No.1: There is no prejudice allowed here...we make fun of everyone and we start with you'

-Mike Rhodes, XRF lab philosophy

This month's joke: The Order of Things

This one is pretty self-explanatory...

The Dean...

• leaps tall buildings in a single bound

• is more powerful than a locomotive

• is faster than a speeding bullet

• walks on water

• gives policy to God.

The Department Head...

• leaps short buildings in a single bound

• is more powerful than a switch engine

• is just as fast as a speeding bullet

• walks on salt water

• talks with God.

The Professor...

• leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds

• is almost as powerful as a switch engine

• is faster than a speeding BB

• walks on water in an indoor swimming pool

• talks with God if special request is approved.

The Associate Professor...

• barely clears a Quonset hut

• loses tug-of-war with locomotive

• can fire a speeding bullet

• swims well

• is occasionally addressed by God.

The Assistant Professor...

• makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildings

• rides the rails

• can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury

• treads water

• prays a lot.

The Instructor...

• climbs the walls continuously

• is run over by locomotives

• plays Russian Roulette

• walks on thin ice

• talks to animals.

The Graduate Student...

• runs into buildings

• recognizes locomotives two out of three times

• is not issued ammunition

• can stay afloat with a life jacket

• talks to walls.

The Undergraduate...

• falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings

• says "look at the choo-choo"

• shoots themself with a water pistol

• plays in mud puddles

• mumbles to themself.

The Department Manager...

• lifts buildings and walks under them

• kicks locomotives off the tracks

• catches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them

• freezes water with a single glance

• is God.

Click here to see the previous jokes of the month!

---